Convincing Your Husband to Check His Testosterone Level
From the time they are little boys playing cowboys and Indians in the backyard, men are taught that they should be “manly.” The macho image saturates the media in movies, television, and books. Even the romance novels aimed at women feature manly men with unbuttoned shirts on the cover.
It has become almost an unspoken rule that for a man to be respected, he should be strong, unemotional, and independent. With this in mind, think about what you may be doing to your husband if you question his manhood?
As the concerned wife, you may not think apprehension about testosterone levels have anything to do with questioning his manhood, but to your husband, you are doing just that. The very word testosterone has become synonymous with manliness. There are many jokes made about the “testosterone in the room” when men try to show up each other.
It is no wonder that the phrase “Honey, maybe you have low testosterone” is almost guaranteed to evoke an unsavory response. If the hormone is a concern, you cannot put your husband on the defensive by seemingly implying that he is not enough of a man.
Before even bringing up the subject, consider the symptoms of low t. He may not be even suffering from the problem, so do not put undue stress on him unless he is exhibiting the symptoms.
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Generally, when men suffer low testosterone levels, he will show some of the following symptoms: decreased energy and strength, lower libido or sex drive, weakness of the bones, depression or anger, erectile dysfunction, an increase in fat on the body, and decrease in muscle mass.
Generally, ‘low t’ is caused by a signal mix-up between the brain and the testicles. For some reason, the brain may be signaling to lower testosterone creation or to halt production completely. Testosterone levels are low if they are under 300.
Although these symptoms are not definitively low testosterone, if a man is suffering from more than one, there is definitely a cause for concern. If you believe that your husband may be suffering from the hormone deficiency, then tread lightly.
It really does not matter how long you have been married, how close you are to your husband, or how well you know him. You could face a negative response if you blatantly tell him you are not happy with his sex drive or his energy level.
Remember, the problem is in no way about you. Do not make the situation about you, because if you do, he will see that as self-centeredness since he is the one suffering. His decreased sex drive does not mean he is no longer attracted to you. He is going through a difficult time, and implying that it is hard on you will only create bad feelings.
The low testosterone test is simply a blood test. No invasive procedures are required, and no embarrassing exams have to happen. Since finding out is fairly simple, you can make sure your husband knows this.
If you feel that your husband is exhibiting the symptoms of low testosterone levels, then you definitely need to broach the subject. Even if the condition is not low testosterone, there could be other underlying medical problems. Any time someone is exhibiting symptoms, it is best that they see a doctor.
However, in this case, a man may very well feel that his manhood is being called into question. There are three keys to talking with your husband about the problem: honesty, selflessness, and patience.
The first thing you need to remember is that you have to be honest, while being tactful at the same time. Instead of jumping at the big subject, like intimacy, choose something a little less inflammatory.
Begin with a phrase, like “You have been kind of tired lately, haven’t you?” This way, you are opening the door to a discussion without even bringing up the idea of a testosterone problem.
Once he begins to talk and confirm his problem with fatigue, then you can delve deeper. Remember to go at his pace, not yours. Suggest that you read an article and found it interesting, or that you were concerned since he did not seem to be getting enough sleep.
When you feel ready, bring up testosterone. Make sure he knows you are bringing it up because of the many negative effects it can have on him and you are simply concerned with his health.
This is when selflessness comes in. At no point should you imply that it is a hardship for you at all. Do not bring up that you are under any stress or that you feel you are missing out on anything. Doing so is almost a guarantee of anger or defensiveness on his part.
Remember that if he is suffering low-t, it is nothing he can repair on his own, and it is unfair of you to blame him for a medical condition.
Finally, you must practice patience. If you bring up the subject and he gets angry, then put it on a back burner for a while. Give him some time to calm down and think more clearly. You may even want to email him an article on the subject so that he can think about it without feeling under pressure by talking face to face.
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Thankfully, low testosterone levels in men can easily be treated with testosterone replacement therapy. There are a number of treatment options, including gels that are applied to the skin daily, patches similar to nicotine patches, injections, and tablets.
Not all treatments are right for each person, so a physician will have to evaluate your husband’s overall health to determine the right course of action. Generally, with treatment, a man’s quality of life immediately increases.
In order to successfully speak with your husband about the possibility of low testosterone, remember to be patient, to make it about him, not you, and be honest. Odds are, your husband has already noticed the problem, but he does not know how to bring it up himself.